Hallelujah procrastination actually discontinues. It's a start to a new beginning. So I've been basically been wasting my time in computer science class. I knew from the beginning that I wasn't going to get this. And even in the middle of the year I started to tell me self that I would get the hang of this. But It isn't working for me. I don't see myself programming computers in the future. And If I was, then I would just wither up in misery doing something I don't enjoy doing. I'm not good at it either. My tests and assignments have all been failed. Even if I was good at Computer Science, I find it sooo boring...I hate it. It doesn't bring out any of my talents. I think I'm going to leave programming up to those people who are good at math and can handle long hours of problem solving and unpleasant computer jibber-ish.   Since I have no hope for Computer Science anymore, I went on looking into my old dream..Which was architecture. EXCRUCIATING was the word that came to mind when I looked in on how the whole process on becoming an architect was. Presentations, Projects, Creative thinking. BUT I find that more enjoyable, and somewhat easier because it's what I'm good at. The bad thing is it takes forever to complete. I believe it takes 11 years to fully graduate in the field or architecture..Gosh..longer than studying to be a doctor.   In two years, I'm going to be graduating from high school. Hopefully. But I'm still not sure of what I'll be taking in University. This is so stressful. Add some homework every night to my high school life, and trying to think of what I'd be good at to make my career successful..it's absolutely tiring..Free time is a rare for a dedicated high school student.     HEALTH   I don't know, but I just got sick out of nowhere. I'm suffering from a mild-ish cold. My nose is stuffy. I can't taste my food. I occasionally feel nauseous. Dizzy ness. But that was earlier on in the day.   I went home after lunch because I didn't think I'd last. Plus, next period was Computer Science. I never get my thoughts straight in that class so how was I supposed to think straight with a stuffy head? So, I just went home. I was missing English also but it's okay. I'm doing well in that class anyway's.   My father picked me up. Then I suddenly just broke into conversation about my future.  "Dad, maybe I should just be an architect. You were in drafting, maybe your knowledge will pass down onto me" My dad was irritated. "You haven't decided on what you're going to choose for a career yet? You're in grade 10. Your time is running out." then I just sat there thinking about how much time I wasted. "But whatever you choose, you have to work hard and stick with it. Just try your best." "kung yan ang hilig mo, eh di magiging matagumpay ka. pag hindi , wala kang pag-asa magiging mahirap ang buhay mo"  Sounded something like that.  haha I needed kaesers help for this since I can't write tagalog. But yeah, it basically means that "If it's what your good at, then you'll become successful. If not, then there's no hope. You're life will be hard". My dad's advice were always in simple words. Nothing poetic or anything, since he was a logical kind of person. He was more of a math person than a literature person. Makes any sense?? hah.. When I needed theoretical thinking I turned to my grandma. She was full of wisdom and chose words where it'd really make you think. Sometimes I don't even get what she's saying since her vocabulary is so old fashioned. But I learned from that.   ***   When I got home I took the a bowl. One of the larger ones. Cooked ramen, added rice, ate chicken, chopped up some lettuce, and that was my lunch. all in one big bowl. It was good~...hot and steamy. Made me feel better. Took my medicine. Went to sleep at 1:30pm. Then I woke up at 6:30pm. It was a pretty long ass nap. But I felt really good afterwards. After awhile, I actually did some homework. Which was productive of me.   It's half past nine now. And I'm just trying to get in touch with myself. Thinking. I think too much about things. It'd be nice if my thoughts would help me out in the near future. I need answers..or more like motivation to get me going.

I honestly become over joyed when I get comments. It's the one thing I check when I go on. To see if anyone's been actually reading my posts. But I hate to have posted up some really random, pointless posts. So those posts have probably been set to private, since I still find some of them of significance. Ltr~ ma*